Coming out is when someone who identifies as LGBTQ+ decides to tell other people. It is a really personal decision, and you are the only one who gets to choose when and who you come out to. There are a lot of different ways to come out, and deciding how to do it is something only you can do for yourself.

You may decide you want to make a plan. 

Who would you be comfortable telling?

You do not need to come out to everybody all at once. 

How do you want to come out?

Would you be more comfortable doing it by sending a text or email, making a phone call, making a video, writing a letter, or talking to someone in person? 

What do you want to say?

Writing out how you might want to come out can be helpful. Practicing with supportive people can also help you figure out what and how you want to say it.

When would be the best time to come out?

There is no perfect time to come out, and it will probably depend on who you want to tell. It is about whenever it feels right to you.

Where would you be more comfortable, or feel safe enough to come out?

There also is no perfect place to come out, but you might prefer certain settings over others. It is also important to keep your safety in mind.

There is no right or wrong way to come out – just the one that works best for you.

While it is true that parents or friends sometimes can’t accept LGBTQ+ people for who they are, many families and friends are accepting and supportive. If it’s helpful, seek out the help of a counselor or school nurse or other trusted adult for guidance. See if your school has a Gay-Straight Alliance for you to be involved in for extra support.

Always remember that you deserve to be accepted with care and open arms.

If you are looking for more to help you decide when or how to come out, here are a couple very helpful resources:

Safe Teens: Coming Out

The Trevor Project: The Coming Out Handbook

A healthcare professional can also help you make these decisions.