Bringing up the word “sex” always scared me before I started working with Planned Parenthood. It’s not like I couldn’t fathom the thought or was against it. But every scenario I had ever encountered regarding the subject ended in something bad happening. Like movies and tv shows. They portray sex as the formula to tragedy, and if not imaginary characters, how about real ones.
My mother is now 36 years old, she has three kids ages 19, 17, & 11. She works and attends college full time. My mother, like me, is living for the first time. During her teenage years was when she began experiencing sexual interactions, it wasn’t long after till she discovered she was pregnant with my brother. Soon after was me, and not much later my youngest brother.
My mother always reminds us that no matter what we will always be her greatest blessings. But it’s hard to imagine what her life would have looked like if we never existed.
Motherhood is a challenging journey no matter your age, race, ethnicity, or background. So you can imagine everything my mom went through raising me and my brothers. And I do. My mother has told me on two occasions that she doesn’t tell me everything that she went through growing up. Once was after an argument we had that led to me storming out of the house and going to spend a few days to live with my grandmother. And the second was during an argument that we had that again led me to leaving the house to go live with my grandmother.
Now I have to admit I see a lot of what my mom goes through as her daughter. You see things growing up, some of which you can’t unsee. So it took a while for me to accept that there was even more, more trauma and abuse that she had to fight alone that I didn’t know about.
To me all this tracked down to one thing; sex.
We as people often get to make the choice to engage in sexual activities the older we get and sometimes the people we make these decisions with aren’t who we think they are. And if you’re anything like my mother you are given a tiny little blessing that is not only an extension of yourself but also this person who turns out to be someone you never knew.
Therefore, sex to me was completely ruined. What if I choose the wrong person, or did something wrong that upset that person, or even worse ended up with a little baby of my own that I had no idea how to protect from this world?
That was until my sophomore year. I began working with Planned Parenthood during the pandemic. A lot of people say that the Covid-19 pandemic was the worst thing that could have happened to them. Though completely understandable, my situation would lead me to believe the complete opposite. Having time alone with myself was an opportunity to discover who I want to be, and part of who I want to be is someone who is educated and uses that education to help our world.
Planned Parenthoods S.T.A.R.S Program wasn’t just a place that like minded teens gathered to get honest sexual health education but a place that allowed one to grow as an individual. After my first meeting I immediately felt more comfortable saying words like “sex” and after my first year I felt confident enough to talk to my mom about all sexual health topics, not just teen pregnancy.
“Sex” as a word has so much meaning and history, most of which for a long time was negative. But once you take the time to properly educate yourself or if you’re anything like me and were presented with a great privilege then all of a sudden that fear and negativity fades.